Essays, tests, quizzes, books, books and books.....
I guess this is University life
It's almost 4 in the morning and i couldn't sleep cos I just can't take it off my mind
I just can't sleep without having everything planned or know that there's something left undone at the back of my mind.
This was totally unexpected when I was at Ridley - I strived and worked hard in order to get myself here
but now I'm starting to doubt if this is the right choice.
I don't blame my family for the whole idea of university education and I don't hate it but I think I'd feel more secure if I know there is something out there planned for me after this.
Now that I know where I should put my heart in I feel less secure everytime I go to school. I understand that I should just keep on going and do whatever I am assigned and try my best to do it but it's just the insecurity at heart that makes me feel like a souless mortal facing winds, blizzards and thunderstorms from everywhere whenever I go to school.

I hate being told that I'm not mature or irresponsible because I know I am both mature and responsible. I don't wanna waste my four years at University knowing that it doesnt contribute anything to my career but just intellectual growth. Intellectual growth is important but there are more things than just marks, professors and books can judge. Learning a new language is beneficial but I don't just go to school for learning Spanish.

I do deem myself lucky as compared with a lot of people. I have a family, I'm going to University, I have everything I need. But what does that lead me to? What does it take for me the become what I want to become?

It's useless bitching about life and I know that but there must be a resolution to this - to ease my fear and insecurities.